Every year Valentine’s Day comes and goes. For those of us in relationships: we're under pressure to find that perfect gift we could give our sweetheart that would show them that we really deeply care and love them. The traditional gifts are always chocolate, flowers, and jewelry. And while those are really nice sentiments, they aren’t going to save our relationship from declining over the years.
Presents are material objects that we get surprised with on special occasions. They briefly make us feel good– special even. There’s no harm in them. However, they don’t replace the emotional connection we feel for our significant other.
I’ve personally been in my fair share of failed relationships and a failed marriage. Let me tell you, IT WASN'T FOR A LACK OF ROMANTIC VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS THAT MADE MY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL.
The best gift we can all give our lovers this Valentine’s Day isn’t another present that will get devoured in one sitting or something that will collect dust. A present that will mean the most to your loved one is your very own presence. Your engaged awareness and being.
When I am with my husband, I want nothing more from him than his full attention and support. I want to know he cares about what I have to say and is engaged in the conversation.
This is difficult to achieve if we are only thinking about our own needs. When we focus solely on our desires, we don’t consider what is important to the person we care about the most in the world.
If we want the kind of relationship that can withstand the tests of time, we need to be the type of person that we want our lovers to be. We need to give respect if we want respect. We must put away our cellphones and give full attention if that’s what we yearn for. We are obligated to ask questions when our partner feels lost or confused about something. We have to support and encourage them when they are trying something new and stepping out of their comfort-zone. Casually nodding our head and muttering "MmmHmmm" doesn't cut it.
The more that I have personally built up my husband and taken a greater interest in his passions and concerns, the more profound and connected our relationship has been.
At the end of my life, I don’t want my husband to remember me as the woman that always remembered to give him gifts on special occasions. I want him to remember the way that I made him feel about himself. That’s something that can never be bought.
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